With the shocks around, I know, my flight is rushing into the clouds again.
I close my eyes as I always did. I am waiting the flight to calm down in the air. But, I can not calm down my heart with thousands of thoughts running into my head. Sometimes I feel hard to breathe when thinking about very hard situations. I know exactly that I am at a crossroad which is so dark in the world that few people can be here. I should not get other’s help any more, it is useless. I must make a decision and face the darkest by myself only.
Stewardess tells me that my flight is flying at a height of 9000 meters through broadcast. The sunshine is dazzling. I can not watch outside, although I’d like to do it. I want to see the world below and how small they are.
I remember the story teacher told us in yesterday’s class. It is a true story happened in my company. A colleague comes from countryside. Her parents are very traditional. They love her little brother very much. Because of the age of her parents and the discouragement of her little brother, she takes the life burden of all her family members. She was very hard working. But her parents felt little sorry for her. They asked her for money, and then gave her money to her little brother who leads a lazy life all the time with his wife. She was almost cracked and at last she went to psychiatrist for help. I was a little disappointed that the solution given by the psychiatrist was within the scope of morality.
My flight is shaking hardly, and there are screamings by ladies with a sharp swift falling. I still close my eyes to enjoy the feeling of losing weight. I remember YangYunayuan who suicided in ShangHai. She is a poor girl who can not get rid of our traditions.
I wish that she can have a piece of freedom in heaven.
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